If I Could Say This To You But It’s Too Early

If you love me won’t you say something...

Because my heart has a fail safe,

Multiple combinations, 

Rotating and interlocking, 

Interchanging on so many levels 

That...

It’s nearly impossible to

James Bond your way in,

Whether disguised as a “Prince Charming

Or the holiest of holy gentlemen,

It matters not because...

If you love me won’t you say something...

I make no promises of

Quiet nights of ice cream and cookies,

Watching anime and/or syfy all the time,

Or days of blissful memories being the only memories to occur,

But I can promise that,

When my heart is released,

Unlocked and unchained,

Finally able to feel safe in the care of someone worthy,

It has the tendency 

To assassinate it’s suitor

With methods of

Truth, honesty and unrelenting optimism...

Emotions loaded and cocked back

Ready to unleash rounds of words like,

“We got this”

“ Don’t be afraid, I’ll catch you if you fall in love”

Or something from the lyrical genius of Natasha Bedingfield

(Sing Chorus of ‘I Bruise Easily’)

So before you try to hide 

What’s going on in that

Figurative organ so ideally pictured

As the actual representation of a 6th century method of contraception, 

Make sure you understand, 

That my love is not like an STI

In which you need protection or to deny,

If you love me won’t you...

I know I might be asking a lot from you,

Someone who hides themselves, 

From the sheer fact that his emotions

Are what drives a man to become better,

Better tomorrow then he ever was today

But I digress...

I know I’m not one to really talk,

Seeing as how I sometimes relive my own

Gut wrenching history of 

Failed relationships, 

Whether friends, fam, foe or lover...

The fear that captures my mind

Locks my heart trump tight

Got me uttering words 

from the greatest of legends

The unapologetic Lauren “Miseducated” Hill 

“Sacrificed too much and waited in vain”

“Wasted and used”

Do I need to say more...

But wait a minute...

You still haven’t owned up,

To the feelings

That dance 

Within the spaces of your cranium...

I can imagine 

As you hear this poem

Your stomach drops 

As the Iris of your eyes narrow to a pinpoint 

As uncomfortable as you may feel

Because of the directness of my directness,

I need you to hear my words,

Permit them the opportunity 

To become  fertile 

Among the hordes of

Syllables that have and are forming

Creating ideas of rationality and philosophy 

Deep between your hippocampus and cortex,

Making them permanent,

Like the lyrics of Jagged Edge’s 

“Let’s Get Married”

Which became every wedding song for singles with dreams in the 90’s

So dude I mean this when I say

What’s really good,

Cause if you love me won’t you something 

35 Years and Changing

There is a moment  when a woman goes through weird times of her life; 35 is, I'm afraid to say, this time for me.

I am usually the kind of person to try to find the positive in all aspects of life, however, for whatever reason I am finding it increasingly difficult. 

Okay let me start off with a few changes that I have noticed. I am not interested in associating with any other human unless I have an exit strategy in place. Weird I know!

"Little Personal Rant"

So I am a registrar at a hospital in a small town. In this small town people are really funny and weird. They seem to verge on the entitled brat grown up to the usual adult with delusions of grandeur. So that should give you an idea of the type of clients we tend to get. Real life frog in pond scenarios in action lol! Okay well, I maybe a little dramatic in some instances, yet honestly truth is truth. 

The people that I work with, not all, are true pains to my existence. They, the nurses night-shift nurses mainly, are so ignorant and very unprofessional. It takes a lot of perseverance and internal fighting for me not to loose my cool with them. So with this whole "trying to be a good person" routine I have embraced, I have found myself in conflict most of the time. See I told you 35 sucks.

Butttttttt, I really like the acceptance of myself that has occurred with the 35 transition that has taken over my life. I really do love who I have become as an individual. I appreciate things on a more meaningful level. I have found true friendships. I have realized my own mortality and as a result embraced all that comes with life; good and bad the like. 

"End of Rant"

So I didn't get to go into more detail of why 35 sucks and/or the pros and cons of turning 35. I think I shall be back for a little more when my brain wants to function better. 💋💋 

First Cruise Experience Part 1

 

👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋



 Hello, hello, hello all! It is me your girl Avybes and I am back, yess by popular demand. Okay so as you guys may know or not I went on a 5 day cruise. Yes I actually allowed myself a real vacation, off of land nonetheless as well as out of the country, of sorts...lol!

I initially was invited on this cruise last minute by an associate of mine but found out that it was a cruise based on following a band named 'TRU SOL' who turned out to be pretty good I might add.

 

 So I know you guys are wondering:

A) Where did I go?

B) What did I see?

C) What did I do?

D) How much did I drink...lolol  ;)

and last but definitely not least......................

E) Did I see any cute guys?

Okay so the answer to all questions are as follows:

Key West, FL/Nassau, Bahamas (Spoiler Alert!!!!!!!I actually liked Key West way better than the Bahamas!)

 

 

I was privy to see so many things I can't even put into words! (I took pics of a few of the moments though)

 

 

I partied, went to shows, partied some more, ate amazing food Like all of the time...seriously the whole time, got a Spa treatment (which I later felt like I could have done without), and partied some more, oh and I sang karaoke!

 

 

I didn't really drink as much as I wanted but I had a little sip here and there!

 

 

 

 

Finally, I actually was too busy sightseeing and dancing to even consider trying to seek out and fine gorgeous foreign guys to ogle lol!(But you all know that I have a story, as I always do, that is riddled with scandal, despair, anger, jealousy, hopefulness, and last but not least truth lolol)

 

So here is my "The Other Woman" movie lol cruise moment..lolol hahahahahaha

 

 

 

So it started out as innocent as possible! As everyone knows who knows me I love talking to people. Welllllll, I met this guy (and NOOOOO I'm not gonna say his name....geesh lol smh) The picture above is from the first night on board. (I blocked his face to protect his privacy and of course because I am a nice person smh lmbo)

 

Anyhu, I am one of those people who have been bruised by past lovers and have like this GIGANTIC wall around my heart. Plus I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses and I prefer men who I share a spiritual bond with above ALL ELSE! Keeping that in mind, so is what happened.

 

I met this individual as we all danced and introduced ourselves around the room on the first night. I, as most red blooded americans, wanted to take pictures of almost everyone that I came in contact with. (I mean if you were on a cruise for the first time with hundreds of people wouldn't you do the same.....or is that just me?) Anyhu, I did not pay this gentleman any attention as I floated around the room...but he was watching!

 

 So I continued and the night came to an end full of drinks.....NOT....LOL

I danced the night away at the club and passed out lol (But not the point)

So the next morning I get up all ready for food and get on the elevator...Looking smashing I might add lol...Then guess who gets on the elevator with me..yep...ol' dude from the night before!

So guess what he whispers to me in the elevator...here it goes 1,2,3 "So I need you to stay out of my dreams...smh lamo!

He really did say that....so I laughed it off and went to breakfast...later that day I am exploring the ship and #BOOM he pops up again. So then he proceeds to tell me that his.....GET THIS...EX -wife and I have the SAME first name! ANNOUNCEING: Really sir, Im gonna need your cool pass back because if someone ever told you that it was attractive to tell a girl you like that she reminds you at all or of kind of way of your Ex-wife....You need your butt whoop! That is all!

 

So again I laughed it off but once again about a few hours later. do I see coming towards me...

 

(Side Bar: Now this boat has a few hundred, dare I say thousand people on here...why do I keep seeing him?)

 

So I quickly dipped in a shop on the deck....knowing that later I would see him at the party for the band...GEESH....

 

TO BE CONTINUED...LOL

 

My Weekly Update

👋 Hi guys! So I was supposed to post something a few days ago but Sorry.... I was trying to resuscitate my immune system! It seems that Mr. Weatherman is trying to be funny with this or maybe the lovely forces of nature are playing "SEE WHO COULD WHO SCREW WITH HER THE MOST!"

Anyhu, I have at least three things to talk about!

A) Me feeling sorry for the opposite sex!
Reason#1: Weave has become wayyyyyy too common place among women from all walks of life and with this trend more men are being fooled by women who look like the picture down below!
But, Sorry FELLAS, yepp you guess it! ALL FAKE!

But guess what it could look like this  or like this little hairdo here 

↡↡↡↡

Okay I know I was wrong for this...but seriously.....It is sometimes hard for men to tell ladies...and that can and have started to create problems for men...

BUT WAIT...MEN ARE JOINING US SO LADIES BE CAREFUL...............................................

      

So yes we are all kind of screwed lol...but wait there's more!
Reason#2: We women need to quit with all of this makeup/coverup #naturalface #liesalllies #dobetterinlife! We walk around looking like this ↦ and then put some makeup on and #boom like magic, walk out of the door looking like this ⇙

Okay, so maybe I exaggerate a bit but really women, come on! So yes I feel bad for men and let's be honest women also these days!

B) So tell me why the news said to expect snow in the Midlands and everyone was freaking out and buying all the bread and water and the weather turned out like this ....

 SO yepp what a BLIZZARD LOL!

So yes that is all that I have to write for now!

HOOOOOLLLLLLDDDD OOOONNNN!

I forgot something! So my trip is coming up in like literally 4 days and I am soooo excited! I have not...packed yet..but I do believe that I am ready and I have managed to save at least $400 bucks to take on the trip with me! I am so proud of myself. So hopefully the next time I wull be speaking to you lovely people I will have something a little more eventful to write about. WAIT....I don't believe I wanna tell you guys everything but yepp I will be officially on the boat on Friday Jan. 14th. 
Look for the pics and videos of my escapade. lol See ya!

Day Three of 2017

So you guys... I have to say that this year so far ↺ is all Im saying! I have worked everyday since this year has started...Yepp! I am saving as much money as possible to truly enjoy my upcoming trip. I literally only have (thinking........) 10 whole days before my trip. Islands man! Say it with me 

I-S-L-A-N-D-S!

So on to other things...

I am still sick! I was diagnosed with an Upper Respiratory Infection & Bronchitis. Can you say miserable! 

 

BUT.....I am determined to get better before my travels. 

And guess what there is more...

So today at my job we had a new company to present us with a treat...

Nawww...but we did have a great selection spread....So happy I am all I need is better pay IJS! 

So all in all, if I can get over this "whatever it is" I should be okay! BTW...We should so try to do better than we did before as a standard in thi new year.

PSA: January 2017 Broadcast is now available @

JW.org

Broadcasting!  

THE BEGINNING

So this is my first time blogging and I am nervous about it but so what! I got this crazy, amazing idea from a beautiful woman who travels the world and experiences as many things as possible. 

I have been privileged enough to meet many people but recently two women have proven to brighten up my spirits and open my mind up to aspects of life that were lost to me, or so I thought! Charyse and Whitney I thank you for all of your innocence and positive outlooks.

VIDEO INTRO

A little video as a brief preview of what is to come! Stay with me guys and enjoy my journey!